Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hottie in the red sedan - m4w - 21 (495)

Hottie in the red sedan - m4w - 21 (495)
Reply to: pers-1029628529@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-02-10, 7:13PM EST


I was rockin out to Sweet Child of Mine at around 10:45 when I noticed you rockin out as well next to me. I was in a red Tacoma pickup truck and you were in a red sedan but didn't catch the make or model. Not sure but I think your license plate might be "1ST GEM" or something like that. Well if this finds you then shoot me an email.
Re: Hottie in the red sedan - m4w - 21 (495)

That's my girlfriend, asshole.
Re: Re: Hottie in the red sedan - m4w - 21 (495)
From: pers-1029628529@craigslist.org


Pull the stick out of your ass fucker. First of all I seriously doubt that that was your girl cause punks like you don't get girls like that. If it was your girl then take it as a compliment knowing that you have a hot girlfriend. And second...why are you looking at the m4w section anyways? You gay? I bet the only reason you clicked on my add is cause you saw "pic" and thought you would get to see my dick. How bout you send your girlfriend over here and i'll let her describe it to you...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Albino (?) Beauty at Bar Veloce - m4w (East Village)

Albino (?) Beauty at Bar Veloce - m4w (East Village)
Reply to: pers-1029073769@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-02-10, 1:27PM EST


Ok, so I’m not entirely convinced that you’re Albino (were we to date, actual Albinism would be my preference, simply for the novelty value and whatever minority points I would get for dating an Albino, [do you capitalize “Albino”?]), but in any case you have extremely light skin and hair and are singularly beautiful. It’s been at least, I wanna say three times that I’ve seen you sitting by yourself at Bar Veloce reading. I couldn’t tell what you were reading but each time it was unmistakably a weighty, substantial-looking book. In the best of all worlds, you would be reading fiction, something along the lines of Dostoyevsky, Musil or early Murakami. I’d even settle for Proust so you could give me the condensed version (I myself found it too tiresome to trudge through). Absolute deal-breakers include Thomas Mann, anything by Ishiguro set in Japan, and religious texts read non-ironically.

The upshot of all of this is obviously that I find you quite attractive (sort of a cross between Daphne on Scooby Doo and Bjork if she dyed her hair white, but your hotness transcends both). Unfortunately I’ve thus far managed to ogle you without attracting your attention, so I’m realizing now that you know nothing about me (apart from that I’ve got excellent taste in literature). So to bait the hook, so to speak, I will tell you the following facts about myself:

If I had diabetes (which I don't) it would be Type 1 (non-obese);

I have no salient physical deformities;

I gave up a not-especially-promising career as a semi-professional snowboarder because I wanted to be a vet, but then I dropped out of vet school and now I’m the personal assistant for a famous architect (I’m his glorified valet).

To be imperfectly frank, I am what every fine hanging painting should be.

So if you find any of this intriguing, I encourage you to holler at me, girl.
Re: Albino (?) Beauty at Bar Veloce - m4w (East Village)

That's my girl, asshole.
***SUPPLIMENTAL POSTING ON CRAIGSLIST***
Re: Albino (?) Beauty at Bar Veloce - m4w (East Village)
Reply to: pers-1029130608@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-02-10, 2:00PM EST


Some complete hand job just replied to my post (below) to let me know the Albino woman was his girl. My response is threefold:

A. this is just my personal opinion, but you don't seem interesting or articulate enough for her.

B. i suspect you of rank cowardice and closet faggotry

C. why are you browsing the m4w missed connections? (see B., above, for my hypothesis)

beautiful hipster on the L train - 28 (Bedford / Lorimer)

beautiful hipster on the L train - 28 (Bedford / Lorimer)
Reply to: pers-1028540895@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-02-10, 2:09AM EST


you-
the beautiful hipster on the L train. you had pencil thin legs bound by tight black jeans. the t-shirt you were wearing said that something or other sucked. you also wore a tight fitting leather jacket that had a pin on the front. your hair is long and messy, and its possile you had on eye liner. you were also carrying a book by an author ive never heard of.
i hope you read this and find me. id love to complain about nothing my whole life with you!
Re: beautiful hipster on the L train - 28 (Bedford / Lorimer)

That's my girlfriend, asshole.
Re: Re: beautiful hipster on the L train - 28 (Bedford / Lorimer)
From: pers-1028540895@craigslist.org


actually, it was you :)

We spoke at Morton Williams Supermarket on West 57th Street - m4w - 33 (Midtown West)

We spoke at Morton Williams Supermarket on West 57th Street - m4w - 33 (Midtown West)
Reply to: pers-1028604126@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-02-10, 6:46AM EST


I'm the guy in the black coat with cropped brown hair that called you gorgeous at Morton's Monday 2/10 around 7pm. You are seeing someone but so what? so am I... I should have given you my number or something in case you ever changed your mind.
Re: We spoke at Morton Williams Supermarket on West 57th Street - m4w - 33 (Midtown West)

That's my girlfriend, asshole.
Re: Re: We spoke at Morton Williams Supermarket on West 57th Street - m4w - 33 (Midtown West)
From: pers-1028604126@craigslist.org


hahahaha
i thought you might have been serious until i read your email name
don't bother replying. i just created this email account cuz you don't need my name or main address.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

you got on the L train at Union Sq... jeez you were somethin' - m4w - 27 (Union Square)

you got on the L train at Union Sq... jeez you were somethin' - m4w - 27 (Union Square)
Reply to: pers-479136777@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-11-14, 8:21PM EST


yikes.
i mean, damn.
no wonder you didn't look at anyone.
i tried not to stare, i felt like a retard.

but you were the prettiest women I have seen on the train, ever.

you looked like a veterinarian maybe (or a model with a weird fashion sense)

i dunno. maybe you don't even speak english. i was the guy who was real cool and collected, like a frozen chicken that fell out of someones whole foods bag and bounced onto your foot... the man who looked like a 13 yr old retard

i thought to myself, "is she that pretty? yup." looks away, looks back, "yup, she is. jesus, i can't believe how pretty she is"

i'm not shallow, you see beautiful people everyday in NYC, but you were the most alluring, endearing, beautiful and moving as you sat still and stared into space

sure, it's all projection.

but i bet you're amazing (and i never use that word)
Re: you got on the L train at Union Sq... jeez you were somethin' - m4w - 27 (Union Square)

That's my girl, asshole.
***SUPPLIMENTAL POSTING ON CRAIGSLIST***
re: Re: you got on the L train at Union Sq... jeez you were somethin' - m4w (Union Square)
Reply to: pers-479712445@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-11-15, 12:38PM EST

"WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?"

DARK BLUE NURSE SCRUBS (POSSIBLY) TOPPED WITH AN IRISH LOOKING KNIT SWEATER.

BRUNETTE.

ooops caps.

anywho.

i DON'T REALLY BELIEVE IN MISSED CONNECTIONS. IF SHE WAS SINGLE SHE WOULD HAVE AT LEAST LOOKED IN MY DIRECTION PLUS SHE SEEMED OLD FASHIONED SO SHE PROBABLY IS STILL DATING HER BOYFRIEND FROM HIGHS SCHOOL..ooooops caps. but if she would go online, I guess that means she saw some boy on the train.. who knows.

(and her BF emailed me and called me a name, haha... i pray it was some prankster and not a guy who is so jealous and insecure he peruses craig's list to see if guys are into his girl, she's so pretty. i am sure she gets hit on 20 times a day)

Girl on R train today at 4:30 PM with Converse sneakers. - m4w - 24 (Midtown)

Girl on R train today at 4:30 PM with Converse sneakers. - m4w - 24 (Midtown)
Reply to: pers-479050531@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-11-14, 6:43PM EST


Hi, I thought I'd give this a long shot :) I was on a Queens-bound R-train @ 4;30 pm, I was Asian/Filipino, I had a brown leather jacket,, and a brown sweater. You were Caucasian, had a black leather jacket, long brown hair and cute Converse Sneakers. I think we caught each other's eye once or twice :) I got off at 49th street+Broadway/7th ave.; you switched seats before I got off the train. Anyway I think you're really cute, we should chat!!
Re: Girl on R train today at 4:30 PM with Converse sneakers. - m4w - 24 (Midtown)

That's my girl, asshole.
Re: Re: Girl on R train today at 4:30 PM with Converse sneakers. - m4w - 24 (Midtown)
From: pers-479050531@craigslist.org


Really? So what are you doing on missed connections...go Spam someone else, jerkoff.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

PROSPECT PARK WEST - m4w - 29

PROSPECT PARK WEST - m4w - 29
Reply to: pers-397834514@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-15, 3:47PM EDT


YOU WERE GORGEOUS...I WAS BY 9TH ST AND PROSPECT PARK WEST ..I WAS SITTING ON THE WALL THAT SURROUNDS THE PARK..YOU WERE WALKING..U HAD ORANGE SHORTS..AND WHAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION WAS YOUR LONG WAVY HAIR..U LOOKED TO BE PHILIPINO..HOPEFULLY U SEE THIS
Re: PROSPECT PARK WEST - m4w - 29

That's my girlfriend, asshole.
Re: Re: PROSPECT PARK WEST - m4w - 29
From: pers-397834514@craigslist.org


OK...ONE....RELAX..IF ITS YOUR GIRL..U DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HER USING MY #....TWO..IF ITS YOUR GIRLFRIEND...U NEED TO EXPLAIN TO HER WHAT U R LOOKING IN MISSED ENCOUNTERS MEN FOR WOMEN..THATS ODD...SO TUCK YOUR TAIL IN SUGAR PANTS AND KEEP IT MOVING

Friday, July 27, 2007

Cute Brunette on G-train, Court Square, early Tuesday afternoon - m4w - 41

Cute Brunette on G-train, Court Square, early Tuesday afternoon - m4w - 41
Reply to: pers-382715581@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-26, 5:57PM EDT


You were the cute brunette in a white tank top and turquoise mini-skirt, looking down and writing in your checkbook when I got on Brooklyn-bound G waiting to pull out at Court Square earlier today. Later, a friend of yours got on and sat next to you, and you chatted for a minute.

You also had gorgeous hair pulled back, and a sweet, gap-toothed smile.

Me: guy in a purple T-shirt with a Knicks baseball cap on, large-framed brown glasses.

We exchanged glances a few times until you got off at Metropolitan/Lorimer. Would love to get to know you better...
Re: Cute Brunette on G-train, Court Square, early Tuesday afternoon - m4w - 41

That's my girlfriend, asshole.
Re: Re: Cute Brunette on G-train, Court Square, early Tuesday afternoon - m4w - 41
From: pers-382715581@craigslist.org


lol...funny.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

To the FEMALE POSTAL WOKER on 62nd street - m4w (Midtown East)

To the FEMALE POSTAL WOKER on 62nd street - m4w (Midtown East)
Reply to: pers-372528452@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-12, 7:07PM EDT


It was 2 pm this afternoon you (latina)were delivering mail on the even numbered side of the street. I was walking past you (latino with curly hair)wearing brown shorts and a black tee we said hello to each other. I hope you read this and get back to me.

M
Re: To the FEMALE POSTAL WOKER on 62nd street - m4w (Midtown East)

That's my girlfriend's route, asshole.
Re: Re: To the FEMALE POSTAL WOKER on 62nd street - m4w (Midtown East)
From: pers-372528452@craigslist.org


Year, right, what does she look like?

Friday, July 13, 2007

WHOLE FOODS IN JERICHO - m4w

WHOLE FOODS IN JERICHO - m4w
Reply to: pers-372359000@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-12, 3:28PM EDT


YOU HAD TOO MANY ITEMS ON THE EXPRESS CHECKOUT.YOU ARE TALL BLONDE WHO WAS WITH A FRIEND WHO WAS TALL AND BROWN HAIR.YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE MODELS.MY PICTURE IS HERE.-STEVE
Re: WHOLE FOODS IN JERICHO - m4w

That's my girlfriend, asshole.
Re: Re: WHOLE FOODS IN JERICHO - m4w
From: pers-372359000@craigslist.org


Yeah ok asshole-

***UPDATE - POST SCRIPT***
P.S.: Re: Re: WHOLE FOODS IN JERICHO - m4w
From: pers-372359000@craigslist.org


Dont call me an asshole you dont know who you are talking to-ill make one call to Pete or Vinny and they will shove that jerk store right up your ass.What are you doing on missed conections loser if you have a girlfriend-you probably cheat on her like all the rest of the guy jerk offs -scumbag-

***UPDATE - POST POST SCRIPT***
P.P.S.: Re: Re: WHOLE FOODS IN JERICHO - m4w
From: pers-372359000@craigslist.org


I read about you on ten years of nerve,i know all about you--you better watch your step!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

This morning: 14th St bus to Union Sq. Blond w/ aviators - m4w - 32 (East Village)

This morning: 14th St bus to Union Sq. Blond w/ aviators - m4w - 32 (East Village)
Reply to: pers-372180177@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-12, 11:52AM EDT


You got on the bus on Ave A or B, I think. I was already on the bus. Towards the back. 6'2, blond guy.

Well, obviously, I would really like to get to know you.

If interested, say hello.
Re: This morning: 14th St bus to Union Sq. Blond w/ aviators - m4w - 32 (East Village)

That's my girl, asshole.
Re: Re: This morning: 14th St bus to Union Sq. Blond w/ aviators - m4w - 32 (East Village)
From: pers-372180177@craigslist.org


doubt it. this girl seemed much too cool to date a guy with a dipshit name like yours.

choke on your ascot douchebag.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Uptown F train, saturday morning... - m4w - 50

Uptown F train, saturday morning... - m4w - 50
Reply to: pers-343537303@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-06-03, 11:53AM EDT


you were standing in front of me for about half an hour...wearing black footless tights under a short plaid jumper...ipod...young...cute...felt the inate sexuality...want to share it with you..me, bald, older, interested?
Re: Uptown F train, saturday morning... - m4w - 50

That's my girlfriend, asshole.
Re: Re: Uptown F train, saturday morning... - m4w - 50
From: pers-343537303@craigslist.org


and you would know that how?